THE STIRRINGS OF SPRING

Much like the daffodils in the window box turning to smile up at the sunshine, I too am feeling the warmth and positivity of the change in season. We are approaching the easing of lockdown 3.0 in the UK but the improvement in temperature and light makes this feel more significant. Things are improving. I have seen a few dozy sleepy bumble bees lately and like their loud hum I too am feeling the buzz inside my head. Ideas are coming alive. I’m picking up on the stimuli and tuning into new life around me. This isn’t new, I always feel positive in the spring time particularly when gardening, although it isn’t my favourite season. But maybe it feels more noticeable as I am doing less than usual, taking more time and paying more attention because there is less to do. I am less distracted and enjoying taking the time on myself. Am I achieving more? Not really, but I am being more thorough in my approaches and building my understanding of and confidence in things I want to invest my time in. Being far choosier and also recognising the instinct of my feelings as to what feels right and good is what I have learned from this lockdown and furlough period. My past weakness is my ability to bite off way too much and leaving personal projects abandoned has always been a huge bugbear,  I’m now more conscious of wanting to finish something and more importantly, self-imposing deadlines in order to complete and achieve. 

A while back I had an independent review of my portfolio and CV with a career counsellor and the feedback that came confused me. “Don’t show me what you do, show your achievements.” It said. At the time, whilst I understood the difference between the two, I had no idea how to differentiate. I am what I do, and within that, I achieve. It isn’t as simple as rewording the resume in order to blow one’s own trumpet louder than usual, and now having not even looked at my CV for nearly two years I’m questioning its relevance. Back again to the question of where am I going, and what am I doing? Drawing upon past experiences in both career and personal life of course shapes who we are to become giving us the confidence and ability to go forth and conquer, but also insight into what we can do and do it better. Shifting the focus to examine one’s self is important so as not to show case but to show depth of character and aptitude. The luxury of time has been abundant this year and self reflection is something I have worked into daily routine and hopefully the thoroughness and contemplation I apply to all tasks will remain. If only to maintain my good habits.